Where to Look

We all have moments when we look inward and find ourselves lacking. We feel unsatisfied with ourselves, whether it be due to emotional instability, ill health, or overwhelming schedules. It is in these moments we look for comfort. We grab for the cookie dough, the ice cream, or the junk food. If it isn’t food we usually find a friend, someone to give us a hug, play with our hair, or just put their arms around us. These do a great job at bringing us comfort as we wallow in our own internal turmoil. Unfortunately, these cures don’t last very long, and they don’t fix the underlying problems. A better solution is to remember that when we are looking inward and finding problems or limitations, we should look outward to others. We look to others, not to have pity on us, but to be their friend. Listening to them and talking to them about their lives: the highs, lows, and laughs. In this relationship you give them some needed “TLC,” and you get a new perspective on your own situation, and you may realize just how little your problems are in comparison to the joys in your life and the life of those around you. When you find yourself low, reach out to one of the best natural highs that exists…helping others.

....Na na na na na na

Duh, duh... duh, duh, duh... duh, duh... duh, duh, duh... In...out...in...out... around...back...spin... cross...up...over... you're moving, just going, non-stop, no direction or purpose but to keep moving, can't stop even if you wanted to, intoxicated, you almost don't even think, just step, step... twist...spin...turn...back...forward... and again, not just your feet, but your whole body feels it, suddenly soaring through the air... catch your breath.... your heart pulsing... you have wings like the birds high above, you are weightless--no gravity pulls at you, you could stay up forever but coming down is just as fun since then the floor is a slip and slide, standing still is not an option, slick...smooth...roll...flick... head bobbing, hips rocking... arms wrapping, swapping spots... twitching muscles and vibrations communicate everything from top to bottom, near to far... a smile... a twinkling eye... a rippling laugh... his face tells you he is in the groove just as much as the fluidness of every movement, there is no feeling like it when he spins you out, back in, around and around, to the ground, spin again, and launch up around his shoulders, landing on his hips until you bounce and land on your magic feet and you step to the side your hand sliding across his back to reconnect on the other side, you lean in and flick you are dipped so your head is inches from the ground and as he pulls you back up you hear the final beats of the song fade away to a memory... until the next song begins...



I went country dancing this weekend and this is my attempt to explain how it feels as the dancer on the floor when it works the way it is supposed to. There is no feeling quite like it and those of us who love dance would do almost anything to never let it go, which explains why we get hurt so much and don't stop, from the popped blisters to the broken bones, we still go back and relish in each beat of every song to fly, to soar for however brief a time. The only way to fly...

Willoughby vs Colonel Brandon

In Sense and Sensibility two very different men fall in love with the same woman, the young and attractive Marianne Dashwood. She is the typical naive lady who has not been exposed to the turmoils of life and is ready to fall in love with her entire heart as if she were the romantic heroine of the novel in which she is featured. She compares true passion with Guinevere, Juliet, or Eloise. The choice she is faced with seems no choice at all.

Colonel Brandon is reserved, dignified and loyal. He first meets Marianne at the moment she is singing at the piano forte; he falls in love. As he is over 35 years old, however, Marianne sees him as too old for love and does not consider him a real suitor even though his affection for her is clear. He remains a kind and helpful friend to her and her family through it all.

John Willoughby, on the other hand, is young and dashing. He is in the neighborhood visiting a wealthy relative and sweeps Ms. Marianne off her feet with his good looks, knowledge of poetry, brash open behavior of affection.

Impetuous and enthralled Marianne falls instantaneously for John Willoughby.

In a surprising turn of events, Willoughby does not become engaged to Marianne, but turns and gets engaged to a wealthy Ms. Grey. He deserts his love of Marianne for the security of money that he does not have. With this change Marianne is devastated. Reduced to a broken heart, Marianne returns to the country.

Unable to let go of her affection for Willoughby, Colonel Brandon comes forth to give Marianne a clearer perspective of him. He explained his own tragic history of loving a young lady who had been to poor to be approved by his family. His love, Eliza, eventually became a "fallen woman." In the last moments of her life she bore a child named Beth whom she leaves in the charge of Colonel Brandon. This young lady follows after the reckless lifestyle of others and ends up the deplorable and misused woman of Willoughby. She is left alone and pregnant.

Understanding the true position of the man she loved and obtaining an entirely new perspective of Colonel Brandon in his tragic romance, Marianne must reexamine her life and romantic sensibilities.

Marianne becomes life-threateningly ill and is rescued by Colonel Brandon. As she is on the mend, he is her constant and unfailingly kind attendant. He finds a position for Edward, the love of her older sister, and finds a way of rekindling Marianne's love of literature and music.

In her new situation, Marianne learns to find a great respect and affection for Colonel Brandon and with such a wonderful start to a relationship the are married. Love with her whole heart is not long in coming.

May I now present to all the woman of the world a noble truth. The best of relationships that stand the test of time and the unavoidable struggles of life are those not based on passion or polite affection, but on honest and deep friendship. There is nothing so intoxicating or stable than a true friend who becomes a true spouse. May we learn without our own hearts being broken of the infinite wisdom that has been presented to us by one of the greatest authors of all time, Ms. Jane Austen.

Rediscovery

I have been writing for years, at least 8 seriously, but every once in a while I like to go back and see what I wrote and make it a finished product, or just remember why I wrote it. Going through my writing journal I found this one...

Untitled (always the hardest part for me...any suggestions?)

It seeps through you,
Touching every spot:
Filling you up,
Soaring in and out
From every pore,
Ribbons of emotion
Covered by musical notes.

Like a wind swooping
Over, under, around
Each leaf of every branch
Of the tall oak tree.
How can one not feel
the magic of its touch?

A blessing come from God
that speaks from soul to soul,
Another piece of the
Intricate staff of life.

Milk

I love Milk!

I cannot go even 24 hours without feeling with drawls from my lack of milk intake and I have been out of milk for days without a car to go and replace it, so a cosmic thanks to the guys to took me to the "cloud nine" for all dairy products...the BYU Creamery! They have the riches and best price milk and other dairy products ever created. But how can one resist that cool, smooth, and refreshing glass of white that sits in your fridge and why would you want to?

I am just happy today and thought I would share with the cosmic void...Good day dear void.

JFSB Fountain

So if you aren't familiar with the BYU campus let me tell you about one of my favorite places...the Joseph Fielding Smith Building. This is the building in which I live. Every building on campus has a major or school that has all of its classes there, and the JFSB is mine for both history and English classes and believe it or not my on campus job. (No, I never leave.)

As I have so much time in and around this building you would be correct in thinking that I know it pretty well from the balcony on the fourth floor to all the great places to hide and read/study in a good chair or couch to the beautiful relaxing court yard. In this courtyard is a wonderful fountain with large pieces of rock in the middle creating natural-like waterfalls, albeit small ones.

One of the things I love to do is watch when little kids come up and start putting their hands in and splashing around or better yet, when they hope right in and play like they are at the water park and secretly I have always wanted to join them, but thought that my college peers would think me juvenile and maybe a little "around the bend." This secret desire has been building for over 4 years now and this Sunday I gave in.

I was helping giving a tour to my sister and her family and we went there and their little girls got in to play...so I did too. Now I didn't go crazy and fall in or splash a bunch I just walked around and got my feet wet, but it was so worth it. I may even do it again and make a mess of it before I graduate from this lovely school and let other people's opinions of me be poppycock!