I remember that day in October of 2005, life was just starting to get back to normal after Hurricane Rita had done such damage to my hometown. I walked in from school and found my mother crying in the front room. The day had finally come we had all prayed would never happen. He was gone. My little five month old nephew was gone. Being born with muscular dystrophy we knew it would come within the first two years, but we had been praying for a miracle. A miracle that never came.
A mom of 7 children, a sister of 7 siblings, a daughter of loving parents, an Aunt to 30 kids, and a friend to many. A healthy happy woman giving to all with two of her darling children still living at home, the most smiling person you will ever know. Cancer. Years in and out of the hospital. The lows of it spreading, the highs of remission waiting for the all clear—finally home but just to say goodbye. A family torn apart.
He saw her on a balcony talking on the phone to her best friend, bare foot, smiling, and fiddling with her hair, unconscious of anyone else’s attention. After a month of flirtation and romance a relationship blossomed into fruition. After many happy discussions of the future and looking at intricately sparkly jewelry, a shock came…instead of him taking a knee, he took a hike. A treasured and life-long dream ended as a nightmare.
It may seem that after experiences like this my belief in God and His love for His children would wane, but the exact opposite happened. The truth of God’s love for His children was proven in the many angelic hands that He sent to help make each and every strain on my emotions a chance to learn and grow. My family pulled together and all our friends around us kept us even closer. The hugs so tight that I thought I wouldn’t be able to breath, and yet so comforting I never wanted them to end were the perfect medicine for my illness.
Many people look around at those they see and judge; it is generally thought in Christian communities that if we live well and do as we are commanded by God than we come to deserve the miraculous happy endings that we wish for, but the real unfiltered truth is that every person on the good green Earth have struggles, difficulties, and challenges—the good, the bad, and everywhere in-between—the truth, beauty, and comfort of prayers and most specifically of those that appear as unanswered prayers is that we are not promised to have an easy life undaunted by turmoil, but we are promised that when the tempests come our way we will be able to bear whatever is put in front of us whether it is through a deeply desired but seemingly impossible miracle or the unfathomable growth, strength, and support that comes from not getting the miracles or endings that we want.
I have been blessed with a life of twists and turns that I never would have expected many that were good and many others that I felt would break me, but became what made into the woman that I am today, and from this…
I believe in the miracle of unanswered prayers.
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